Lovely, Lovely People

The world is full of lovely people.  How do I know this is true?  I know them all, that’s how.

Ok, I don’t know them all, but all of them that I know are lovely!

I’m saying this on the heels of my husband’s death.  People were, and continue to be, so kind to me.  It’s actually overwhelming.  I knew that my friends, family and acquaintances were kind people, but these people seem to have shown themselves as the ultimate super people.

We have had a drastic experience, and my people have jumped in with an equal and opposite reaction.  Imagine those old-fashioned justice scales.  On one side is so much sadness and grief and mystery and confusion…..and on the other side are all these wonderful people that I know, people sitting there smiling, legs crossed, waving and nodding, all crowded on to that little weighing plate.  “We’ve got your back!” they say.  These are people that have scrubbed a rug, baked a dinner, cleaned the house, mowed the grass, stayed over night, written to Harry Styles’ personal assistant, gone to lunch, helped with finances, traveled hundreds of miles, wrote heartfelt words, and…and….and…..I could go on and on and on.  I can’t possibly list all the wonderful, generous things these people have done for us.

So all these folks are evening out that scale.  Everything they have done and felt for us adds to their lovely weight that sends the pointer straight to the middle.  I guess that pointer represents me, and now that they’ve pointed me in the right direction I can function with a lot less tilt!

I am so fortunate, I know.  I wish I could lend my people to those who are hurting, hurting even worse than I, those who don’t have people of their own…..  I feel guilty, even, that I have been surrounded by so many lovely people.  It’s hard for me to imagine that people could care that much, that they would care about me, about us.  I would say that surely I do not deserve such affection. But I can not imagine what life would have been like in these past few months without these friends….

And I think everyone deserves that care, that affection.  In fact, everyone out there in our lives, in our world, the people we know, the people we don’t, everyone deserves our best care.  Not everyone’s scale is tipping way out of proportion, so it shouldn’t really take all that much effort to be helpful……

It’s really amazing how losing someone changes you.  I’ve heard and used the phrase “it’s all relative.”  Relative to what the girls and I (and our friends) have experienced through losing Andrew, everything else hardly makes me bat an eye.  When that scale you’re riding dips way down into life and death those silly, annoying things that happen don’t matter, let alone make sense.  I know you have dealt with loss, and you know what this feels like.  Perhaps we need these heavy times in our lives….

I am so changed by these lovely people in my life.  I see them in a whole new way now.  They are not only helpers but also life teachers.  I am humbled and overwhelmed in the best way possible.  Have you ever been touched in the heart so deeply that you have to cry, maybe you feel like you will burst?  I can’t describe this very well at all.  Music is like this for me.  When I hear perfectly skilled musicians play the most beautiful notes in the most sensitive way it touches me so deeply that I can hardly breathe.  This may be too much information and may not make sense, but this is exactly how I feel as I think of these gorgeous souls, and the fact that I cannot live without them.

So often I have grumbled about people……the sour-faced server, the fast-paced lane changer, the person who has betrayed all trust….

But now it’s all in perspective, now it’s all relative.  I have seen lovely people.  I have witnessed lovely people in action.  Lovely people have loved me and I think I’m ready to love them back.